[ISO] In Search Of v.2 - r/MuslimMarriage (2024)

Age and Gender

33 and female.

Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect?

Malaysia, and yes, the world is my oyster!

Marital Status - Single/Divorced/Children

Single and never married.

Ideal marriage timeline

1-3 years, or whenever we are totally comfortable and ready to settle down together.

Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect

30 and above.

Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect

1. Responsible: You perform your religious obligations accordingly, keep tabs on your parents and siblings, have good work ethics, keep your promises, look after your own health, and care about what you feed yourself (chocolates and junk food can be good at times though!).
2. Self-aware: You know that you're allowed to wallow in self-pity once in a while, and know when to pick yourself up and brave through the storm. You know that you are angry or hurt and you need time off to be by yourself so you can relax and clear your mind. You base your decisions on their effects on short and long terms, analyse temptations before giving in, and you know your rights from wrongs.
3. Inquisitive: You are curious and eager to learn even the most mundane of things. You are easily amused by the simplest of facts. You have a set of interests that you occupy yourself with in your free time to keep your brain active and buzzing with ideas. You ask questions, and you don't mind exploring further, in pursuit of the truth. You weigh your options before saying Yes. You don't have a problem with striking a conversation with the foreign-looking janitor to know about his/her life, family background, what brought them to this side of the world. You see strangers and you realize that everyone has their own different story, and you are grateful of the opportunities Allah has given you to meet and learn from people in which you found His reflection, and His fairness in everything.
4. Mentally strong: You think long and hard before deciding that you are ready to get married, so you prep yourself for marriage, learn from people who have gone through and out of it. You know once you're in it, the single life is way behind you - and you'll live the rest of your life thinking for more than just yourself. You have to be strong for two people, and then more, along the way. You know there will be days of laughter, joy, and affection, tickle and pillow fights whenever when we're in the mood, and gazing each other lovingly and with gratitude when we've got miniature version of ourselves (minus the stinky diapers and snotty faces). You also know that ahead, there will be days of tension, misunderstanding, and conflicts, and you know - or at least be patient while you learn - how to go about it. Having said that, you also are not afraid of being vulnerable and true to your feelings.
5. Childlike and playful: This goes hand in hand with humor I suppose. You know how to dish and take a joke. You know when to make light of a situation without going overboard. You enjoy watching comedies and cartoons (or to sound more grown-up like, animation *snort*), be it good or bad, on a quiet Sunday evening while digging our fingers in a bowl of cheesy Cheetos. You get excited over the idea of going to a zoo, bird park, or a museum because animals! Plants! Artifacts and engines!

State/specify your level of religiosity

I'll just describe my religious routine because it's hard to say where my level is, because my moderate may be your low, and vice versa.

On a normal day, I perform my five daily prayers, recite the Quran every day before going to work, and perform the sunnah prayer whenever I get the chance. I listen to Islamic lecturers (favorites are by Hamza Yusof & Hakim Murad) while driving to work, and once in a while, I go to the nearby mosques to listen to lectures by local scholars.

During Ramadan, I fast, perform my sunnah prayers, recite the Quran daily after each prayer, and then continue with the 6-day sunnah fast during Syawal.

I wear modest clothing and the hijab, my face is bare and I do not wear make up. I listen to music though, most of the time it's instrumental/post-rock. I do not drink, smoke, take drugs. I eat halal. I do not go out much except to work, long walks at the park to keep active and get sweaty, to garden nurseries, to get new house plants. Sometimes, I entertain my niece and nephews by taking them to the cinema to watch the latest Marvel movie.

Level of education, and what are you looking for?

BA in Mass Communication and Media Studies, major in Publishing studies. No specific preference, as long as you know how to read and count, and are incredibly good in Math and logic, so you can teach the kiddos that. I suck at both, unfortunately. You definitely can make fun of me for that.

Current Job Status

Working full time in the IT industry. I work 8-5 and lead a well-balanced lifestyle. I don't take any of my work home with me and I am able to switch off that part of my brain that thinks for work the second I step into my apartment, so I am rarely stressed or hormonal about work (now you wonder what I am often hormonal about! Ha!). I enjoy working as I get to learn a lot of new things, and to be honest, I am not sure I am cut out for it to be a stay-at-home mom. I won't mind leaving work for 1-2 years caring for a newborn, but I know for sure I want to be back working when the timing is good.

Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing?

Malay, and definitely yes. My sister married a Pakistani, and my parents won't mind as long as you are a practicing Muslim.

List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time

1. Reading: I read a lot, I read almost everything. I turn every cereal box to read the write-ups, and I read the wrapper of the candy bars. I read fiction, non-fiction, magazines, and news feeds. I read about topics I heard in passing in podcasts (like Why are some plants rare? or Do polar bears get lonely? ps: They are solitary animals btw). If you send your marriage proposal in the format of a business proposal, I promise I'll read everything. I won't skip a single line!
2. Gardening/Botany: I have picked up this quite recently, around three months ago. I have succulents, tropical plants, trailing plants, air-purifying plants in my apartment. Some of them are high maintenance but my cats make sure that my focus remain on themselves. I find peace while repotting plants that are root-bounded, cleaning the leaves from dirt, looking at the pink stems supporting the large green leaves, subhanAllah plants are amazing! My favorite house plant is Aglaonema. It has the best varieties! I'll show you photos of my plants everyday and when they have shoots (babies)! I promise!
3. Postcard exchange: I used to be active on Postcrossing until I forgot the email and username I used for the account. I enjoy sending postcards from places during my travel. I also send postcards to myself as keepsakes. I am sentimental so I absolutely love the feeling of describing my experience on a piece of card, and then returning home retrieving that piece of memorabilia from my mailbox, reminiscing the weather, the food I ate, the people I met.

Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out!

Not short, but here goes: I have always wanted to be a mom since I was a kid. I thought that was weird. Anyways, in my 20s, I wanted kids of my own, that would look like a combo of my husband and I, until eventually I decided I just wanted that because all my friends had started having kids and then I was surrounded by kids who looked like their parents. Later I decided that I wanted that because I was only hormonal, and was aware that my desire to be a mom wasn't supported by a strong, and reasonable foundation.

Now that I am older, and my biological clock is ticking, I still want to be a mom be it to my own kid, or to an adopted child. I want to adopt someday even when I already have my own, insyaAllah. This means, I do not mind marrying someone who doesn't want to bear his own child (genetics issue or any reason permissible by religion), or someone who is sterile.